Feb 25, 2009

Tumerica Dishes on the Oscar Night Dresses 2009


Best Dressed and Worst: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Every year, I do a snarky, opinion-filled piece commenting on the Oscar night dresses (and sometimes tuxedos). It's such fun and usually gets me way more hits than my, at hem, political commentary--understandably so. If you can't say something nice, come sit by me and all that. Don't forget to register your differences of opinion below.


Most Delicious
Amy Adams
Spectacular dress, regal and breath-taking. Loved everything about her look. The vibrant, unabashed red, the porcelain goddess skin. Fabulous. The necklace is to-die-for and I love how contrasty it is with the red--why not? And would you look at the cut of this dress? Scrumptious. Amy--you were marvelous in Enchanted. My five-year-old and I adored you. Could there be a more beautiful woman on the planet than Amy Adams was Oscar night?


Most Brazenly Beautiful
Viola Davis
It takes a goddess to pull off a bold gold lame look with falls and falls of drape and to do it with aplomb and delight. Davis has done it and then some. Her skin looks yummy with this color and she suits the attitude perfectly. I love her in this look.


Best Princess on Earth

Anne Hathaway

Anne Hathaway knows how to pick a dress. She's got the regal bearing and the pale ethereal looks but could easily gild the lily and go overboard with the princess thing. Instead, every year, she chooses the perfect look. Remember last year in bright red? Wow! And this number? The color is understated, but the texture, styling, intricacy are not. Perfect elegance. Anne Hathaway wins also for consistently best look.


Most Beautiful Woman in Least Interesting Dress

Angelina Jolie
Truly, there is probably not a more beautiful woman on the planet. And frankly, i
f I looked like that, I would not feel the need to flaunt anything at all. Jolie's serene look of confidence and happiness takes her a long way. That's why she can get away with wearing the most boring dress at the Oscars and still look wonderful. It ain't the dress. It's who's inside it. Did not love her bright green ornaments, although I did admire the verve that went into choosing them.


The Dress I Most Want to Borrow

Marian Cotillard

If someone had described this dress to me--midnight indigo sequined bodice and black tulle skirt--I would have thought ick. But au contraire, this dress is heavenly, dreamy. Cotillard looks spectacular. And mind if I take the dress out for a spin sometime--and maybe borrow the limo while I have it?



The Only One Who Loves Her Look Is Me (and My Five-Year-Old)

Tilda Swinton

Tilda Swinton makes my head swoon. If I were ever to be gay, I would love her. I love her sense of style, I love the way she walks, her voice, her scary wickedness in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. She can do no wrong in my book. Now, Swinton takes a lot of flack for her taste in Oscar looks. Most folks don't get her. I get her and I could just eat her up. My daughter and I loved this crazy look--one that would not look right on anyone else but is the essence of Swinton. Bravo for going your own way. It is a good way.


What Was She Thinking?

Natalie Portman

Now I am a huge fan of Natalie Portman's. I watch anything she is in, knowing I am in good hands. I think Portman is the Meryl Streep of her generation--and with good reason. But sadly, Portman is not as gifted in the getting dressed department. While this is a lovely dress--my little girl went ga-ga over it--the color is mismatched with Portman's yellow undertone skin. She would have looked smashing in the same dress in a shade of Irish green. Something Spring or Autumnal. But cool, bubblegum pink is not the right color for a yellow-undertone person. I know--that's me, too. I can't wear this color. She should have loaned this dress to Jessica Biel, who would have been fab in it. Sorry, hon, your talent makes up for any lack.


Miss Perfect Does It Again

Sarah Jessica Parker

Parker has more style in her pinkie toe than most of us have in our wildest dreams. And this look is no exception. Frothy, voluptuous, spectacular in every way. She's the diva with the mostest, style-wise. Everyone was blown away by this look, though I couldn't help wondering, snarkily, how many gel pads had to fit in there to get that kinda cleavage. Whatever it took, the look was worth it. Bravo, Parker, you belle of the ball, you!


Kid Who Thinks Too Much of Herself

Miley Cyrus

Sorry, Cyrus, but this is an event for big kids. Or at least those with acting chops, not just celebrities of any ilk. Sure, that's a beautiful dress, though, I have to admit, it's a bit over the top even if it were on someone who is actually statuesque and who does not have a head the size of a pumpkin. But couldn't you at least dress in, well, something more apropos for your age? No, I don't mean a prom dress, but something less froufy, showy, and 40-something diva-ish than this? Who are you fooling anyway? Maybe your daddy liked the dress, but his achy-breaky taste is suspect.

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